I'm not coping. Those three words changed my life.


I'm not coping. Those three words changed my life.

When I reflect on what I was drawn too when I was a teen, I am intrigued to note how attuned I was to my callings. I was either going to study Sports Medicine or Journalism when I finished school as I had a passion for the human body and a desire to help people to perform optimally and I loved to write and figured I could turn it into a career. I allowed a school Career Advisor to talk me out of my passions, preying on my fear of failing and the crazy belief that I wasn't good enough.

In studying Exercise Physiology, I indulged my craving to write, penning research papers while also working with elite athletes at the Australian Institute of Sport and people who had sustained injuries at work. I quickly realised that the physical challenges experienced by elite athletes or those rehabilitating from injury, are fundamentally impacted by mindset and the degree in which an individual can centre their mental and emotional state. Mastering the physical body was only one component in reaching optimal performance or recovery and unfortunately, at that stage of my life I had not accessed the skills needed to help people overcome their mental and emotional blocks.

My frustration at being unable to support people make significant change in their life saw me quit my job and travel overseas, before returning to study a Master of Health & Safety Management, convincing myself that if I could prevent people from being injured then I wouldn't have to help 'fix them.' I worked with many large companies as a consultant before becoming the Health & Safety Leader for Toohey's Brewery and Lion Nathan. A safety vest, steel cap boots and safety glasses became my uniform and stress overtook my life!

Both my daughters were born while I was working in this role. I was adrenally burnout and in a constant state of overwhelm, that saw me waking most nights waiting for a phone call to inform me that of catastrophic event at the brewery. While it may seem crazy to some, having a newborn baby was a holiday for me given the stress I had been under and maternity leave was a temporary reprieve. We moved interstate after my second daughter was born and as circumstance played out, this proved to be the end of my corporate career. My life changed completely over the next two years as I became a fulltime stay-at-home mum to three very small children, having a third baby quite quickly after we moved interstate. My world as I knew it was thrown upside down when my beloved dad passed away suddenly, and I simply didn't have the tools to cope. I completely lost myself, yet I forced myself to hold my façade in place so that no one could see my struggle and my failings.

Until one fateful day, when I couldn't get out of bed, my inner wisdom finally putting the brakes on and I was forced to listen. I couldn't keep living the way I was, neglecting myself and investing all that I was into my babies who were 8-months-old, two and four. Two days later, even though I had pulled myself together and replastered on the mask, I went to the doctor under my husband's insistence. She asked me how she could help me and in that moment I found the courage to unveil my truth after 36 years and I calmly declared 'I'm not coping.'
Those three words changed my life.

I finally faced my fear of failing and did not run from it. In owning my story I freed myself from the crippling fear that had held me back from myself and my truth for so long, and after that everything immediately began to fall into place. Two weeks later I was studying Kinesiology, even though I didn't even know what it was, but I listened to my intuition and began following a path that has seen me completely transform who I am and has enabled me to guide thousands of people in healing their past and transforming their lives.

In 2016, with a thriving Kinesiology business I felt the calling to reach more people and I began asking the Universe to send me 'the words to my first book'. I could have written a traditional self-help book, as I had conducted thousands of healing sessions, and had an abundance of case studies to compile a book of this type. But I didn't feel called to write in this way and I chose to wait for the book I was destined to write to come to me.

As I got out of bed one morning in April 2016, Let's Go Home 'downloaded' itself into my consciousness. I can only describe it like a computer file opening and the story from beginning to end, the characters and themes streamed into my awareness. I began writing Halia's story two days later and the words flowed through me onto my laptop, while I listened to music in the early hours of the mornings as my children slept. I have no doubt that this was the book I knew from the time I was a small child that I would write. A book that was to take a healing message into the world, inspiring people to embrace their struggles, do the work that they need to do to unravel their past and transform their lives so that they can find their way home.

Having recently completed my second novel, Beneath The Veil, another story with powerful personal and spiritual growth themes, I know that writing books is my way of sharing important messages with the world, to inspire people to return to their truth and humanity to its natural state of being - love.

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