I am 19 years old and so confused that I have absolutely no idea what I am supposed to do. A few months ago, I started something with one of themanagers at my work. To begin with it was just a bit of fun, but we soonboth realised that it was something much more. However, aside from being myboss, he also had a girlfriend and although I knew that they were going through a rough patch, I stayed away.
I thought the best way for me to get over this person was to go away for a while, so I went to visit my parents.
The whole time I was there, he sent me sweet text messages and had lovelyphone calls. A few days after I had arrived at my parents, he sent me a textand told me that he had broken up with his girlfriend and said he wanted tobe with me when I got home.
The problem here is that when I got home, he had another girlfriend. She wasan old friend with whom he said he had a mutual 'thing' a few years ago. She'd showed up on his doorstep with a suitcase and told him that she's decided that they were meant to be together and that she was moving in.
When he told me, I brushed it off as just another relationship that I was notsupposed to have. This was not the end though and the flirting and textingcontinued. After waiting for him to break up with her and him not doing so,I ended it. We both decided it was for the best. Somehow though, we ended up back in each other's arms and just before I was to escape to my parents again, he showed up on my doorstep and we slept together.
Being away from him did nothing but make me realise how much I wanted him.I came home again expecting him to want me the same way, but he won't leave her. He's told me he's tried but she won't let him. Even his friends havetold me that he hates being with her and she won't move back home. We've slept together two more times since the first time and all I know now to be true is that I am completely in love with him. I just don't have the courage totell him this because I'm too scared that he will decide that that he wantsto be with her more. What do I do? Do I give him my heart and trust that hefeels the same or should I get out and continue to be sad and alone forever?Charmaine:
Your letter is full of misconceptions and illusion. I put it down to yourage. Let me make things clearer for you.
At best, this guy is really weak and easily led. Do you want a man like thatfor the rest of your life, someone you have to watch all the time and nottrust completely?
You should never have started up again when he took up with someone else.How many chances can you give someone?! If you keep sleeping with him whenhe's officially with another girl, you're asking for the inevitableheartache you're heading for.
What you need is to build up more self-respect so that you won't let anotherman ever treat you this way again. Put it down to experience but pleasedon't let yourself be used anymore. You will NOT be alone and miserableforever. I'm sure of that. Just give yourself a chance to get over this guy.Remember we don't always love people for positive reasons. It's toocomplicated to explain in this reply but you can contact me again to findout more about the laws of attraction. Meanwhile, good luck with breakingyourself of this bad habit which is what your relationship with this guyessentially is.
Body Talk Column is hosted by Charmaine Saunders. www.charmainesaunders.com
Send your requests to email@example.com