Just a Saturday Night Fling?

Hi, I met this guy a week before my birthday and coincidently, his birthday is the same as mine and we are both the same age.

We started seeing each other during the week, I met all the "boys" and everyone thought we were together. I don't blame them as we were acting like a couple. Everything was great. This went on for about 2 months. . At first I was a bit unsure and didn't think much of it or let myself have feelings for him just in case it was just another saturday night pick-up which would lead to nothing. Yet slowly,slowly,I started to really like him.

He would tell me that I meant a lot to him and that I was special to him. I was really happy, things were looking good. The last few weeks I've hardly seen him, or spoken to him. I've tried to arrange things with him to catch up etc but he always had something going on. We weren't official therefore I didn't think much of it. One weekend he was sick and I was upset so I bit the bullet and asked him what was going on between us. He replied to me that he didn't care what happened, whatever I wanted .

I spoke about this to his best friend as we are pretty close and he was shocked and thought it was a bit weird. I haven't seem him in about a week now, yet he turns up to my indoor soccer grand final to watch. Last saturday I saw him at the club we always go to... we bumped into each other and both were happy to see each other. We kissed and went along and danced with everyone else. After a while he came up to hug me, the conversation continued and he broke up with me!

He told me that he didn't feel comfortable with a girlfriend as he wants to see his friends and be with them; if he was with me, h'd have to make time for me as well which would be hard. He also told me that he likes me a lot and that he was really really sorry for this, and that he wants me to still be a close mate and to still see me and whatever. He kept on making sure I was ok and saying how sorry he was. We still had our arms around each other and we still kissed in between the conversation...

I moved away to get some space and to think about it all. All night I saw him dancing away as my friends tried to cheer me up and I could see in his face he was a bit upset, especially when this girl started dancing with him. As I left, I pulled him aside to say goodbye, because at the end of the day I still wanted to be friends and he does too. I thanked him for being honest with me and he said that he was so sorry again. We kissed again almost as if nothing was wrong. We just looked at each other and I could see he was sad. That was it. I have no idea what I'm meant to do. Am I meant to just leave it and be friends, accept it and when i see him every Saturday at the club, pretend it didnt happen? I know that if I was to try and kiss him again, he would because he still likes me... I just don't understand his reasons for not wanting me.

The hardest part now is if i see him with another girl... I do want to stay good friends with him... I suppose I'm still hoping that he'll change his mind with time and just succumb to his feelings and be with me. What are your thoughts?
Bianca

Charmaine:
It's always hurtful to break up especially when it's the other person's choice but this guy has been straight with you and clearly still really likes you. I don't know that you have much choice other than to accept his decision. Relationships take up a lot of energy and all he's really saying is that he wants to enjoy being single without having to consider your feelings.

Yes, he might change his mind at any time. If you can `go with the flow,' it would be good to hang in there, still join in with the group and enjoy the club etc but if it's going to be too painful, take a break for a while. I wouldn't kiss him because if you're not his girlfriend, it's not appropriate. Always keep your own dignity. It will work out better in the end.




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