You've just been advised that you have a new team member starting next week. You haven't met them, but the word around the business is that he's a real pain. You've spoken to a few people who tell you Chris is slow and tedious with his work, and picks up on all the little things in everyone's work. Great! Just what you need when you've got tight deadlines!
As soon as Chris arrives on your floor, you head over to meet him and ask him to come to your office. When he asks if he can put his things down and just get himself organised first, you're thinking -Here we go – he can't even get to my office for a meeting!'
You give him a serve about how you like things to move fast, that you've got tight deadlines and that he really needs to perform, but when he nods and says -Sure, no problem', you shake your head. You actually don't believe him.
The next day, when Chris asks if he could just have a few moments to check something over before it gets sent off to the client, you tell him to just get it out. He's mucking around, again, wasting time.
An hour later your top client rings you, wondering why on earth you've allowed something to be sent out incomplete. It was sent by Chris, today. Your client wants to meet you – they are not happy, Jan!
Now, we've all had some kind of experience like this in business. What's happening is that we behave in a way that is consistent with our expectations, not necessarily with reality.
Neuroscience has continued to study how the brain deals with expectancy, and we now know that expectations are formed in the brain's pre-frontal cortex. Not only do our expectations determine our behaviour at the time of a particular event, but brain studies have proven that we actually plan for events in accordance with what we are expecting. This has amazing outcomes, both in our ability to achieve great success, but also to bring about great failure.
In our role as leaders, if we are truly expecting to achieve our mission and goals for the year, then we will plan our day, our week, our month, our year, in order to achieve those. However, if we'd like to achieve them, but are really expecting that they are out of reach, then we will not put in the same amount of effort, we won't plan as well, we'll let deadlines slip, not communicate and engage the team as well – we behave in a way that is consistent with what we actually expect.
The thing is, others will behave in this same way towards you. If you have customers that have poor expectations of your organisation, your products and services, say they expect that the service will be sloppy and your staff unattentive, then they will have already decided how much they will buy from you, or how much they will engage with your organisation, and may be planning to find an alternative to you.
What's really unfair about this, is that those expectations may have nothing to do with you, and everything to do with something someone else told them about you!
Herein lies the dilemma of trust – we rely on people to meet our expectations and needs and to keep the promises they make to us. If we are expecting one thing, and they are promising something different, then we do not trust them as much as we could. We hold back, we disengage, or we give a little, but not too much.
Beginning to understand what your staff, your customers, your shareholders, your board, actually expect of you will certainly help you make sense of why they behave the way they do, but will also help you build a stronger, trusting relationship with them. You need to:
1.Recognise that they do have expectations of you, right now, and that some of those will be negative, and some will be positive
2.Know that their expectations of you are driving their behaviour
3.Understand that it does not matter what you promise or communicate to them, they are still persisting down a path, until you change their expectation
4.Realise that if you want something to change, you need to change their expectation of you
5.Apply your efforts to proving to them that they can now expect something different
Meeting or managing expectations is one of the key strategies to building trust in your business. Just remember, it literally is the thought that counts!
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